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The Laughter Cemetery

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out himself.
 
Does anyone want any Chiropracty magazines before I put them for sale on ebay?
I have a lot of back issues...
 
The other day I yelled into a colander and I strained my voice.
 
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo
One is about a ton. The other is a little lighter
 
It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.

It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.
 
I met a Dalek in the pub who claimed he was from Devon so I asked him whereabouts in Devon he was from.
He replied: EXETER MATE EXETER MATE
 
I laughed at that one and now I feel dirty :)
 
A slice of apple pie is $1.40 in Jamaica, and $2.60 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
 
Stupid joke on the radio this morning that I hadn't heard before but made me smile (from an 8 year old).

What bees can produce milk?

Boobies.
 
Missed posting this yesterday on St Paddy's Day so... (and apologies in advance)

What do you call an Irishman who just stands in your garden all day?


Paddy O'Furniture
 
Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid -19.

Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer-14.
 
In honour of all Hermes, Yodel and Amazon drivers, lets show our appreciation and clap on doorsteps and out of windows sometime between 8am and 9pm
 
In honour of all Hermes, Yodel and Amazon drivers, lets show our appreciation and clap on doorsteps and out of windows sometime between 8am and 9pm
For Hermes do I need to stand on the doorstep of a house 3 streets away?
 
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