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The Laughter Cemetery

[FONT=&quot]I asked my Scottish girlfriend to rate my listening skills.. She said you’re an 8 on a scale of 10.

[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton I'll never know![/FONT]
 
[FONT=&quot]I asked my Scottish girlfriend to rate my listening skills.. She said you’re an 8 on a scale of 10.

[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton I'll never know![/FONT]

Doubt they’ll be telling that one in 30 years time...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
- Waiter, waiter, why have you brought me a mallet and a chisel for my fish course?

- You ordered the carp entrée, sir.
 
[FONT=&quot]I asked my Scottish girlfriend to rate my listening skills.. She said you’re an 8 on a scale of 10.

[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton I'll never know![/FONT]

Similar one to saying "space ghettos" in a Scottish accent = a famous girl band
 
Hey guys. Just to let you know that I volunteered for the Russian COVID vaccination & had it in Barnet Hospital today at 08:45. So far so good, no reaktion or sekondary riski иi meиш че сеитгюд ерпестe аьио овут Лопес Обрадор, и я коррумпирован ил
 
Hey guys. Just to let you know that I volunteered for the Russian COVID vaccination & had it in Barnet Hospital today at 08:45. So far so good, no reaktion or sekondary riski иi meиш че сеитгюд ерпестe аьио овут Лопес Обрадор, и я коррумпирован ил

Putting that through the 100% reliable Google translate and I think you are Boris Johnson as you said "and I am corrupt ooze" at the end
 
Hey guys. Just to let you know that I volunteered for the Russian COVID vaccination & had it in Barnet Hospital today at 08:45. So far so good, no reaktion or sekondary riski иi meиш че сеитгюд ерпестe аьио овут Лопес Обрадор, и я коррумпирован ил

How can your jokes fail in two different languages :eek:
 
I'm working away next week so been looking to book some digs I phoned up the one place and the girl answered with, "Good Morning, Best Western.

I said, "Unforgiven with Clint Eastwood, but have you got any rooms?"
 
I'm working away next week so been looking to book some digs I phoned up the one place and the girl answered with, "Good Morning, Best Western.

I said, "Unforgiven with Clint Eastwood, but have you got any rooms?"

Disappointed I never had the reply when I worked on reception at a Best Western hotel.
 
How many Tories does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they prefer gas lighting
 
Just been on the suppository helpline. Can't believe how rude they were.
 
Say "do you want to come outside and see my Yaris" in an Irish accent
 
Our hyperactive dog was really annoying during lockdown, so I thought I'd train him to do something useful about the house; and, to be fair to him, since I bought him a lathe he's improved our home security no end.

Every time I shout at him he makes a bolt for the door.
 
Thieves have allegedly broken in to the laboratory of Pfizer to try and steal the COVID-19 vaccine. They apparently took a case of Viagra by mistake. Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
 
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