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Thread: The Laughter Cemetery

  1. #2041
    Langers's Avatar
    Langers is offline Dr Admin and PTG Champion x 2 (2011/12, 2012/13)
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    Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

    He worked it out himself.
    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

  2. #2042
    machin05's Avatar
    machin05 is offline MURDERS BADGERS. PTG Dogsbody and Spreadsheet MasterN3rd
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    With a pencil???
    Socks before or after trousers, but never before pants. That's the rule.

  3. #2043
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    No, a TI-84+
    <3 - guns, jesus, walmart, trucks, truck nuts, trump, brexit, rosters, half-half scarves
    </3 - tea, kebabs, monarchies, EU, the deep state, nandos

  4. #2044
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    Does anyone want any Chiropracty magazines before I put them for sale on ebay?
    I have a lot of back issues...
    My name is Geoff...

  5. #2045
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    The other day I yelled into a colander and I strained my voice.

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    witch.jpg

    This made me laugh way more than it should
    if your path means you walk through hell then walk as if you own the place.

  7. #2047
    What runs around in circles going "mark,mark"

    A dog with a hare lip.

  8. #2048
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    What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo
    One is about a ton. The other is a little lighter
    400 channels and nowt to watch!

  9. #2049
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    Itís a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.

    Itís a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.

    The difference is staggering.
    )

  10. #2050
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    I met a Dalek in the pub who claimed he was from Devon so I asked him whereabouts in Devon he was from.
    He replied: EXETER MATE EXETER MATE
    )

  11. #2051
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    I laughed at that one and now I feel dirty
    I have 2 friends

  12. #2052
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul View Post
    I laughed at that one and now I feel dirty
    Dementia, obvs.

  13. #2053
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    A slice of apple pie is $1.40 in Jamaica, and $2.60 in the Bahamas.

    These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
    I have 2 friends

  14. #2054
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    Stupid joke on the radio this morning that I hadn't heard before but made me smile (from an 8 year old).

    What bees can produce milk?

    Boobies.

  15. #2055
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    Missed posting this yesterday on St Paddy's Day so... (and apologies in advance)

    What do you call an Irishman who just stands in your garden all day?


    Paddy O'Furniture
    Wolves have ambition and wit... why is it such a crime?

  16. #2056
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    Quote Originally Posted by machin05 View Post
    With a pencil???
    Couldn't work it out with a pencil, had to use logs...
    'I never predict anything and I never will'......Paul Gascoigne.

  17. #2057
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    Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid -19.

    Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer-14.
    )

  18. #2058
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    Knock Knock


    GO AWAY

  19. #2059
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    In honour of all Hermes, Yodel and Amazon drivers, lets show our appreciation and clap on doorsteps and out of windows sometime between 8am and 9pm
    I have 2 friends

  20. #2060
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    Kenny is online now Post Sponsored by the creators of the Gallimore Scale
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul View Post
    In honour of all Hermes, Yodel and Amazon drivers, lets show our appreciation and clap on doorsteps and out of windows sometime between 8am and 9pm
    For Hermes do I need to stand on the doorstep of a house 3 streets away?

  21. #2061
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    Just to make you aware there is an email going round saying that giving up ham products cures Covid-19. If you get it it, ignore it as it's just spam.
    Wolves have ambition and wit... why is it such a crime?

  22. #2062
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    But..... i LiEk HaM!
    Oh my god! Whitney's dead? How's Michael Jackson taking it?

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