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Thread: The All New Adverts that Grind my Gears

  1. #1
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    The All New Adverts that Grind my Gears

    Go compare.....Say no more

    Any advert where Sarah Jessica Parker tries to look sexy, sorry dear you've got a face like a female Peter Crouch.

    The new holiday advert with Jedward on it. How come those talentless goat blowers are getting on TV, just for being crap ?

    Pretentious perfume adverts : what has rolling about on the floor or making out on a boat got to do with perfume ?

    Any online bingo ads especially the one with the large women playing the bongos, my god, what happened to your self respect.

    Any compensation advert : i think weve done that one to death already

    Please feel free to add your own, I'll think of more

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    Langers is offline Dr Admin and PTG Champion x 2 (2011/12, 2012/13)
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    Any betting adverts. Sorry, but they shouldn't be allowed, but they're EVERYWHERE. I find it wholly irresponsible that so many betting firms are allowed to advertise at any time of the day.
    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

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    What gets me about gambling adverts is they portray a friendly welcoming face, when really they just want you to throw your money at them !

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    The background music on so many of them now is incredibly twee and annoying. Tesco for a kick off.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    I like 'windmills of your Mind' whichever advert that is, trouble is it gets stuck in my head then for the rest of the day..........

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    Any advert by Churchill gets me rather annoyed. That nodding dog is most irksome. I once made the mistake of having insurance with that company. A mistake I will not be repeating.

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    Argh! Churchill. They hire the cheapest 'actors' possible, they had an ad running 2-3 years ago where the bloke was incapable of saying the words "When I join". Awful.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    You buy one you get one free, I say you buy one you get one free.

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    "I like old movies...... like Godfather 3....."

    Well you're a fucking moron then. And you can't sing, your impromptu 'song' is both nauseating and shit, and to be quite frank, if the world was hit by a nuclear holocaust, neither of you would be missed. You're both single for a reason - now get the fuck off my telly.
    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

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    Thats an advert....must be a lot of bleeps in it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Langdale Wolf View Post
    "I like old movies...... like Godfather 3....."

    Well you're a fucking moron then.
    Yes, that "old" movie from the 90s. Awful.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    That confused.com cartoon ad...does she *really* pull a mic and stand out of her fanny?

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    The British Gas adverts. How much did they spend putting real heads on cartoon bodies? Just use one or the other, surely.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    Lets be fair, aside from the recent Fosters adverts, they're pretty much all shite.
    If you see a Possum, try to kill it, 'kay, it's not a pet.

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    • The Tesco's adverts where Jane Horrocks continually says "sorted" Always reminds me of the Kevin & Perry clip when Perry comes back from Manchester.
    • The "We Buy Any Car" or "We've Just Sold Our Car" adverts.
    • The Nintendo DS/Wii ones where people are playing happly families around their console.
    • Hailfax fake radio station where she drops the cup. Isa Isa Baby.
    • Tesco with Amanda Holden pretending to be Hyacinth Bucket.
    • DFS Sales. When is there not a sale on at DFS?

    At least Gavin from Autoglass seems to have been made redundant.
    Last edited by SSB; 10th January 2011 at 11:22 PM.

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    Plusnet. Good honest broadband from Yorkshire? My arse. Why be proud to say they're from the county renowned for being mean with money and instantly blow their chances of anyone from across the Penines looking at them? As for having Heaven 17 on the ad, Jesu Christo.....

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    I do like the Introducing Harvey one, but mainly 'cos I like hounds. I still think that an NZ/Aussie style ad campaign in the UK would go down a storm. A simple message, done with the subtlety and charm of a roundhouse kick in the groin. Like the famous kiwi Toyota HiLux 'bugger' ad, still makes me laugh that one, although the 'sheep shagger' promo wasn't on the same level.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SSB View Post
    [*]DFS Sales. When is there not a sale on at DFS?
    The 'singing' in their latest advert, in a risible cover of Depeche Mode's 'Just Can't Get Enough', is just plain offensive.

    The one with that gimp doing a plumbing course. Get someone who's really done it, or a reasonable actor. Not some clown who can't read an autocue and blatantly has no idea what he's talking about.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    For no nonsense adverts i've never seen anything top the pizza advert i saw in Amsterdam. Me and my mates hadn't long got up and were watching tv in our apartment, on came this advert for New York Pizza, actually a great fast food place, Mafia Don-esque figure sitting at a table with a mound of flour on his desk, spoofing some movie scene shouting at a supplier. Then when there logo pops up at the end its joined by the sound bite 'New York Pizza, damned fucking tasty' at about 11am.
    If you see a Possum, try to kill it, 'kay, it's not a pet.

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    "I just sold my car, quick, quick"...Really? Then you probably got about half of what it's actually worth then, didn't you, you thick crud-eating whore...Go and suck Satan's cock...
    Last edited by Toon Wolf; 11th January 2011 at 09:11 AM.
    Write down everything you know about football on the back of a postage stamp. In the space you have left over you can draw a picture...

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    Quote Originally Posted by yabbadabbadoo View Post
    Plusnet. Good honest broadband from Yorkshire? My arse. Why be proud to say they're from the county renowned for being mean with money and instantly blow their chances of anyone from across the Penines looking at them? As for having Heaven 17 on the ad, Jesu Christo.....
    They won't be beat on price. Use proper English for fuck's sake.

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    Cash for Gold etc etc, play on peoples poverty you vampires, theyre only going to give you 40% of what its worth anyway !
    we are 'Injury Lawyers 4 you', no your not your an actor Ive seen you before !

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    Quote Originally Posted by Doctor Doog View Post
    They won't be beat on price. Use proper English for fuck's sake.
    And when you only focus on price you get what you deserve. Shite. 'Reet good idea of theirs is that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Deutsch Wolf View Post
    The background music on so many of them now is incredibly twee and annoying. Tesco for a kick off.
    Ah, yes, so much twee nu-folk shite. Lots of grown women trying to sing like pwetty likkle 12 year olds while some vacant 20-something in a floaty floral print dress somersaults through a giant duvet or cartwheels through a meadow.

    And those yoghurt fuckers will never be forgiven for what they did to Nina Simone's Ain't Got No/I Got Life.

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    What sickens me more is the wealthy actors and comedians who do these ads. People like David Mitchell do all sorts of ads and then think people should take their opinions voiced on Question Time seriously.

    My other current fave is the ever shite Paddy McGuinness advertising gambling sites - the industry that fucks his own fanbase. Brilliant.
    "When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him." Jonathan Swift

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    Bill Hicks said it so well:

    By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself.

    No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself.

    Seriously though, if you are, do.

    Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers. Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you're going, "there's going to be a joke coming," there's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself.

    Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, "he's doing a joke..." there's no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend - I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking makinations. Machi... Whatever, you know what I mean.

    I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, "Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart."

    Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags!

    "Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research - huge market. He's doing a good thing."

    Godammit, I'm not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!

    "Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill's very bright to do that."

    God, I'm just caught in a fucking web.

    "Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar..."

    How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don't you?

    "What didya do today honey?"

    "Oh, we made ah, we made ah arsenic a childhood food now, goodnight." [snores] "Yeah we just said you know is your baby really too loud? You know?" [snores] "Yeah, you know the mums will love it." [snores]

    Sleep like fucking children, don't ya, this is your world isn't it?

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    Kudos to SLA for bringing in the Bill Hicks.

    safestyle UK adverts - doesn't matter who is in them, why do they have to shout so much?

    Used to like the Honda adverts though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Templeton Peck View Post
    What sickens me more is the wealthy actors and comedians who do these ads. People like David Mitchell do all sorts of ads and then think people should take their opinions voiced on Question Time seriously.
    Paul Merton and Stephen Fry doing the painfully unfunny Direct Line adverts. Shame on them.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    Iggy Pop's insurance ads make me die a little every time I see them.

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