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Thread: The All New Alan Partridge Thread

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    The All New Alan Partridge Thread

    We lost the old one. Shame.

    Anyway, this is the greatest monologue of all time.

    ‘I just want to be able to say “I'm Alan Partridge. Join me tonight when my guests will be, I don't know, Chris Rea”. Actually, he lives in the area. I could have had him over. “Alright Chris!”, “Hello Alan I didn't know you'd moved in”, “Yeah, just moved in, last week. I'm having a barbecue, fancy coming over?”, “I'd love to! Do you mind if I bring my guitar?”, “I'd rather you didn't, it's not that kind of area. Do you like Mini Kiev's?”, “I love them! But my wife's vegetarian”, “Doesn't matter. She can have fish”, “No she won't eat that either”, “Oh forget it!. You people”. Go on, Lynn. These people are starting to annoy me.’
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    Langers is offline Dr Admin and PTG Champion x 2 (2011/12, 2012/13)
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    Read the small print in your cone-tract.
    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

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    G-dee, g-dee, g-dee, yes! Oh - YES! Take that horse back to the stables, and give it a kiss.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    Charlotte Fraser - do you want to talk about..... erm.... I dunno - women or something?
    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

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    That is probably my favourite episode of all.

    "Full steam ahead"
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    Langers is offline Dr Admin and PTG Champion x 2 (2011/12, 2012/13)
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    I'd love to get my hands on the bastard. Or bitch - it could be a lady.
    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

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    I'm not homophobic, I'm more of a homosceptic. God created Adam and Eve, he didn't create Adam and Steve.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    One small Baileys please.
    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

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    I find silly amounts of amusement in using Partridgeisms in normal conversation.

    Walking round the supermarket with Mrs DW, if she buys cherry tomatoes (I can't stand them) - "Never going to use them. Never going to use them".

    She obviously finds me hilarious.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    Langers is offline Dr Admin and PTG Champion x 2 (2011/12, 2012/13)
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    I am the same.

    Normally by saying 'what a lovely sense of humour' quite a lot. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.
    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

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    I paraphrase sometimes, and say "There's a time and a place for fun and enjoyment, and it's not here".

    Lovely stuff.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    The farmer rant stands out for me as one of the funniest things in Partridge, when he's supposed to be apologising live on air and ends up ranting something along the lines of...

    When you see a family having a picnic in a field you plough them into the field, fill in the pond, blow up the tree and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother.


    Also need to add, i know an Alan Partridge, i'm pretty sure he hates me as he seems to hate sharing the name but i have to remind him of it everytime i encounter him.
    Last edited by MARKakaJIM; 10th March 2011 at 09:11 PM. Reason: Almost forgot about it somehow
    If you see a Possum, try to kill it, 'kay, it's not a pet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MARKakaJIM View Post
    Also need to add, i know an Alan Partridge, i'm pretty sure he hates me as he seems to hate sharing the name but i have to remind him of it everytime i encounter him.
    Make sure you shout "A-HA" at him every time you meet him. It'll be the highlight of his life and he'll never have heard it before.
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    Thats what i did the first time i ever met him, i think he works with one of mates and i'd seen him on facebook but he has the pathetic cover of Al Partridge. That night everytime i went past him i shouted A-Ha as loud as i could, at first i got a few playful comments along the lines of 'fuck off' but after that he just tried his best to blank me out.
    If you see a Possum, try to kill it, 'kay, it's not a pet.

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    " You're a mentalist!"
    Quote Originally Posted by James View Post

    I honestly didn't think people were that stupid...

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    Sorry chaps, maybe it's the years spent in greece, but when i came back for two years, everyone was raving over Alan Partridge.

    i watched loads cause i thought i had greek comedy disease, and i didn't find him funny due to excess fetta cheese or tatziki.

    then i watched a Tommy Cooper, a Fawlty Towers, and a Blackadder on Dave, actually even a top gear, naughty i know. and i realised very quickly, that i wasn't suffering from anything, the guy is completely crap, and merely the best (worst) there was available at the time.

    Just an personal opinion chaps, before you get upset.
    "Never enter into a battle of wits, with an unarmed man"

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    "I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said "how do I look?" Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say "go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny"? No. You'd say "You look nice... John""

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    Especially for DW,

    "Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Deutsch Wolf View Post
    I find silly amounts of amusement in using Partridgeisms in normal conversation.

    Walking round the supermarket with Mrs DW, if she buys cherry tomatoes (I can't stand them) - "Never going to use them. Never going to use them".

    She obviously finds me hilarious.
    Thank god its not just me. The amount of times I've split Mrs Pecks sides approaching roundabouts with "I'm going nowhere Lyn, quite literally, I'm on the ring road".
    "When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him." Jonathan Swift

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    "I'll tell you about this guy - he got the lab assistant pregnant and he never sees the kid"
    "When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him." Jonathan Swift

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    Quote Originally Posted by Templeton Peck View Post
    Thank god its not just me. The amount of times I've split Mrs Pecks sides approaching roundabouts with "I'm going nowhere Lyn, quite literally, I'm on the ring road".
    I extend it to pre-match Wolves chat in the pub too.

    "Stop getting Wolves wrong!"
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    I've used the ring road line in the past too.

    Just had a flashback to a brilliant Partridge moment that me and mate recreated many times over 2 days. When we were in 6th form we did this '6th form challenge' to improve key skills and teamwork and what not, for some reason we did it at Dudley Zoo where low and behold they have macaque monkeys. So everytime we passed that enclosure the story of 'hoying a monkey into the sea' ensued.
    If you see a Possum, try to kill it, 'kay, it's not a pet.

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    I have offered people a cup of beans before. And when asked to pass a spoon, say "Ah, there's one in the bathroom, but I've no cause for it".

    I really am hilarious sometimes, it must be wonderful to know me.
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    "Lovely stuff. Not my words, Michael, the words of Shakin' Stevens."

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    I'm really not sure how my wife puts up with me sometimes. Obligatory on a motorway when passing a coach to say "and overtaking National Express coaches can become a LONG DRAWN OUT AFFAIR. Not my words Carol, the words of TOP GEAR MAGAZINE."

    I'll get chucked out of the car one day.
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Deutsch Wolf View Post
    I extend it to pre-match Wolves chat in the pub too.

    "Stop getting Wolves wrong!"
    Find the 'explaining James Bond ' clip again, i need a pick me up

    Or the petrol station standoff with the apple slice ?
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbJDHn7B7gs

    Also from that episode..."Which are the less important Bonds? I've got to hear this."
    The rain falls hard on a humdrum town.

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    Well done, Lynne. That was textbook.
    "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

  30. #30
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    One of the Welsh ones?

    He didn't play it as a Welshman Lynn. He didn't say the names Bond, Jones the Bond, Double 0 stheven.
    If you see a Possum, try to kill it, 'kay, it's not a pet.

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