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Bellend commentators

lemonjelly

Housecoat, la
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Mar 12, 2010
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C'mon, I'm sure we've all got LOADS of them we hate, who know diddly squat, & are pointless wastes of flesh on the tv or radio.

We've got 2 weeks to let out all the vitriol.

I'll get the ball rolling with David Pleat. I mean, what does he contribute (apart from waffling about tottingham?) He is rubbish, incoherent, makes no sense, & seems to talk about the good old days and not the game going on.

Fire away folks...
 
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Garry Birtles. Talks absolute shit, even if a replay proves that he's wrong, he continues to bang on with his original point. He also hates Wolves.

Charlie Nicholas also hates Wolves and Mick McCarthy and is a total ringpiece.

I don't mind Pleat. He's actually got a decent tactical grasp of the game, read his Guardian column, it's quite good. His pronunciation of names (not even difficult ones) is very poor but I can deal with that, he's not the only one. Motson can't say "Drogba" properly and he's just a senile old fool these days.
 
Charlie Nicholas also hates Wolves and Mick McCarthy and is a total ringpiece.

Amazingly he backed us to stay up a few weeks ago.

I hate the way Sky let him cover our games on Soccer Saturday.
 
If Mark Lawrenson is being a pundit he's acceptable enough without offering much insight.

Pair him with Motson and he turns into a bad version of Danny La Rue/Alan Carr. Painful to listen to.

I would mention Tyldesley at this juncture but I think it's only fair that I leave it to the expert in the field, my good friend Mr Langdale Wolf.
 
This could be a long thread.

Alan Green. Listen you fat tub of Nordie lard, you're paid by the great British public (indirectly) to watch football and talk about it. Pack in whining about what an awful game it is and that you want to go home. Or, do go home and I'm pretty sure there are plenty of people who can do your job at least as competently, for cheaper, without moaning all the bloody time. His opinions when he hosts 606 are truly laughable as well.

On a local level, Paul Franks has been shocking ever since we sacked his golfing mate Dave Jones.
 
Funny man penk.

You do realise I'm gonna stalk every post you make for a typo now...

You'll be a busy man. There aren't many that haven't.

I found Kevin Phillips quite annoying, but I don't whether that was because he was Kevin Phillips.
 
Andy Townsend never, ever, fails to do my head in, while just about the entire lot at Radio WM are a compelling reason for wishing all 3 teams in Birmingham are relegated this season.

Away from football, James Allen was responsible for the mute button on my remote wearing out during F1's lamentable coverage by ITV.
 
I think it's er, fair to er, say that er, I hate Adrian, er, Chiles' "style" of er, "broadcasting".

Oh look, there's er, a bloke in, er, a funny hat.
 
Anything to do with football on ITV is a disgrace, Birtles as DW has said is a twat, he never misses a chance to say something along the lines of, 'Cloughie would never have stood for that', and whoever decided Chris Coleman needed a meal ticket wants shooting.
 
Collymore. Being the pundit on the radio for a match does not comprise screaming 'whhhoooooooooaaaaaaaah' at a billion decibels when a goal is scored. A little more detail please.
 
Two real thick twats on SSN; Tony Gale and Alan Mullery. Gale says "for me" all the fucking time and Mullery is just so unbelievably dense he has made me throw stuff at the TV while he's imparting his "wisdom".
 
Lillie Savage is so poor it's quite entertaining listening to him, especially when a fan rings 606 to tell him what a twat he is.
 
Peter Drury. Just use normal words in normal sentences like a normal person, you pretentious idiot. When someone scores an equalising goal, it is customary to say "they've equalised" or something similar. There is no need to say "they've achieved parity".
 
Peter Drury. Just use normal words in normal sentences like a normal person, you pretentious idiot. When someone scores an equalising goal, it is customary to say "they've equalised" or something similar. There is no need to say "they've achieved parity".

Grrr, Drury. Always looking for the "Wolstenholme" moment, that his speech will go down in folklore. It won't, you pretentious buffoon.
 
Let's see, Crooks, Bright, Birtles, Dowie, Waddle, Merson due to his Beans on toast obsession, Brazil & the whole of Talksport and Matt Smith.
 
Mark bloody Bright. Great shout.

Commentator: "Here's Rooney, he's in, oh, just wide!"

<Replay shows>

Bright: "Well, you know, Rooney was in, and he's put it just wide!"

Thanks for that fascinating insight Mark.
 
Whos the guy that shouts all the time? Think he started on Channel 5 and is on the BBC now? Youngish, gravelly sorta cockney, south-coast accent?
 
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