Stroke

[Butters]

Hey all,

My Dad had a stroke last night and right now is in the hospital for observation. Hopefully will be released here in a few hours or by the morning. He is also a diabetic and 64 years old. They said it did not 100 percent contribute to it, but he does smoke and is addicted to taking Goody Powder's(They are a pain relief powder and are almost like crushed up aspirin). So he needs to quit those now, but will be hard as been taking them for over 30 years.

His memory is better than it was last night, but still confused over stuff he should know(I.e. his wedding anniversary, pin code to unlock his phone, etc).

For those who have dealt with a stroke themselves before and/or someone in their family has before, what's the best thing I and my brother can do, to help my Dad move forward. My step-mom I am sure will do fine with him, but what can we do to help her?

He is very stubborn and getting him to stop smoking(Which he has been doing for over 40 years) and the GP's will be extremely hard to do.

Thank you!

 

[EpsomWolf]

Don’t have any medical knowledge myself but would imagine most roads will lead to quitting smoking and other lifestyle changes. That can be incredibly challenging for the reasons you’ve already alluded to. My wife is a respiratory consultant nurse and her PhD is around COPD and the barriers and enablers to Pulmanory Rehabilitaion (PR), essentially, understanding why people do or don’t attend PR when there is overwhelming evidence of its benefits. Smoking has parallels, but is amplified because we are all very aware of its dangers and benefits of quitting, but continue to do so.

There are smoking cessation clinics which are very helpful that you could enquire about, but how you’d get your dad to engage is the tricky one. I’d imagine the triumvirate (diet, quitting smoking and exercise) will all play equal roles and require sensitive strategies to get your dad on board. The missus is away for a couple of days and will ask her how best to approach that one when back, but my understanding is there is no judgement and what finger pointing there is is firmly aimed in the direction of the tobacco companies. Your dad will have to play his part but there is help out there and finding the pathway to it sounds like is likely to be key.

I hope your dad improves, must be incredibly stressful for everyone. Might well come to nothing but if there’s any positive suggestions forthcoming I’ll stick them right on here asap.

 

[Butters]

Don’t have any medical knowledge myself but would imagine most roads will lead to quitting smoking and other lifestyle changes. That can be incredibly challenging for the reasons you’ve already alluded to. My wife is a respiratory consultant nurse and her PhD is around COPD and the barriers and enablers to Pulmanory Rehabilitaion (PR), essentially, understanding why people do or don’t attend PR when there is overwhelming evidence of its benefits. Smoking has parallels, but is amplified because we are all very aware of its dangers and benefits of quitting, but continue to do so.

There are smoking cessation clinics which are very helpful that you could enquire about, but how you’d get your dad to engage is the tricky one. I’d imagine the triumvirate (diet, quitting smoking and exercise) will all play equal roles and require sensitive strategies to get your dad on board. The missus is away for a couple of days and will ask her how best to approach that one when back, but my understanding is there is no judgement and what finger pointing there is is firmly aimed in the direction of the tobacco companies. Your dad will have to play his part but there is help out there and finding the pathway to it sounds like is likely to be key.

I hope your dad improves, must be incredibly stressful for everyone. Might well come to nothing but if there’s any positive suggestions forthcoming I’ll stick them right on here asap.

Appreciate this friend.

And yeah, gonna be very hard because as I said my Dad is very, very stubborn. He also gets defensive when people try to tell him how it is. He has lost weight, but needs to keep at it. Smoking is the one that is gonna be the hardest to stop for him, no doubt. Doing something for decades is not easily so let go of.

And yes please do if anything else you think could help.

 

[pagey]

I had triple heart bypass and several Tia's which led to a stroke and a stay on the stroke ward. I've still got 2 blockages in my basilar artery, which is the main feed to the brain, the position of them means at present they can't operate on them. I'd actually gave up for a few weeks as I couldn't see life improving.

The two biggies I think I've managed to do is give up smoking and change my diet, I try to exercise more, although that's generally just limited to walking and swimming. Used to love a decent drinking session, now I might drink a couple of pints a month and change to sugar free juices . Anything to reduce my blood pressure helped.

Ive got a good family support and the missus and kids encourage the exercise and know when I've had enough. I still get extremely tired at times.

I was fortunate and had no long lasting physical effects, I wasn't allowed to drive three months and I noticed it took another few months to get my confidence back, my anxiety levels behind the wheel sky rocketed and I kept imagining all sorts.


One thing the missus gets frustrated about is my short term memory, and i am useless with names(get grandkids names mixed up quite often). I'm often asking her things which she tells me she had already told me , so stay patient.

Hope all works out, and best wishes.

 

[EpsomWolf]

Hey all,

My Dad had a stroke last night and right now is in the hospital for observation. Hopefully will be released here in a few hours or by the morning. He is also a diabetic and 64 years old. They said it did not 100 percent contribute to it, but he does smoke and is addicted to taking Goody Powder's(They are a pain relief powder and are almost like crushed up aspirin). So he needs to quit those now, but will be hard as been taking them for over 30 years.

His memory is better than it was last night, but still confused over stuff he should know(I.e. his wedding anniversary, pin code to unlock his phone, etc).

For those who have dealt with a stroke themselves before and/or someone in their family has before, what's the best thing I and my brother can do, to help my Dad move forward. My step-mom I am sure will do fine with him, but what can we do to help her?

He is very stubborn and getting him to stop smoking(Which he has been doing for over 40 years) and the GP's will be extremely hard to do.

Thank you!

Apologies if this is not articulated very well but chatted to the boss and will try and pass on some notes as best I can. Hopefully it will make some sort of sense and help. Essentially it’s around behavioural change, the same rules of which apply to everyone and every situation that requires any sort of behavioural change.

To help your dad you have to empower him.

Don’t preach - “You must…..”
Show empathy - “I know it’s difficult…”
EMPOWER - “What can I do to help you….”

But, behaviour change can ONLY be successful if you have - Capability, Opportunity and Motivation. If ANY of those are missing it is impossible.

She also says similar to a bereavement, someone in a trauma situation will have the added difficulties of the stages of a period of grieving - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. The persons involved have to be in acceptance before the above can be effective.

I’d imagine that probably explains why so many attempts at change are doomed before they even start. That will in itself would likely take you on a journey of frustration, anger and despondency. There’s probably nothing more demoralising that pissing in the wind when you are desperate for a positive outcome.

I appreciate some of that might appear quite negative and make some of the challenges seem insurmountable, but there are positives there too and understanding some of the underpinnings can be no bad thing.

Not going to be easy but these things never are, which is why we should all be proud of any positive change whenever we achieve it.

Hope that’s of some help at least, all the best.