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The All New Adverts that Grind my Gears


Jeff Moxshi
Jan 15, 2010
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Go compare.....Say no more

Any advert where Sarah Jessica Parker tries to look sexy, sorry dear you've got a face like a female Peter Crouch.

The new holiday advert with Jedward on it. How come those talentless goat blowers are getting on TV, just for being crap ?

Pretentious perfume adverts : what has rolling about on the floor or making out on a boat got to do with perfume ?

Any online bingo ads especially the one with the large women playing the bongos, my god, what happened to your self respect.

Any compensation advert : i think weve done that one to death already

Please feel free to add your own, I'll think of more :)
Any betting adverts. Sorry, but they shouldn't be allowed, but they're EVERYWHERE. I find it wholly irresponsible that so many betting firms are allowed to advertise at any time of the day.
What gets me about gambling adverts is they portray a friendly welcoming face, when really they just want you to throw your money at them !
The background music on so many of them now is incredibly twee and annoying. Tesco for a kick off.
I like 'windmills of your Mind' whichever advert that is, trouble is it gets stuck in my head then for the rest of the day..........
Any advert by Churchill gets me rather annoyed. That nodding dog is most irksome. I once made the mistake of having insurance with that company. A mistake I will not be repeating.
Argh! Churchill. They hire the cheapest 'actors' possible, they had an ad running 2-3 years ago where the bloke was incapable of saying the words "When I join". Awful.
You buy one you get one free, I say you buy one you get one free.
"I like old movies...... like Godfather 3....."

Well you're a fucking moron then. And you can't sing, your impromptu 'song' is both nauseating and shit, and to be quite frank, if the world was hit by a nuclear holocaust, neither of you would be missed. You're both single for a reason - now get the fuck off my telly.
That confused.com cartoon ad...does she *really* pull a mic and stand out of her fanny?
The British Gas adverts. How much did they spend putting real heads on cartoon bodies? Just use one or the other, surely.
Lets be fair, aside from the recent Fosters adverts, they're pretty much all shite.
  • The Tesco's adverts where Jane Horrocks continually says "sorted" Always reminds me of the Kevin & Perry clip when Perry comes back from Manchester.
  • The "We Buy Any Car" or "We've Just Sold Our Car" adverts.
  • The Nintendo DS/Wii ones where people are playing happly families around their console.
  • Hailfax fake radio station where she drops the cup. Isa Isa Baby.
  • Tesco with Amanda Holden pretending to be Hyacinth Bucket.
  • DFS Sales. When is there not a sale on at DFS?
At least Gavin from Autoglass seems to have been made redundant.
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Plusnet. Good honest broadband from Yorkshire? My arse. Why be proud to say they're from the county renowned for being mean with money and instantly blow their chances of anyone from across the Penines looking at them? As for having Heaven 17 on the ad, Jesu Christo.....
I do like the Introducing Harvey one, but mainly 'cos I like hounds. I still think that an NZ/Aussie style ad campaign in the UK would go down a storm. A simple message, done with the subtlety and charm of a roundhouse kick in the groin. Like the famous kiwi Toyota HiLux 'bugger' ad, still makes me laugh that one, although the 'sheep shagger' promo wasn't on the same level.
[*]DFS Sales. When is there not a sale on at DFS?

The 'singing' in their latest advert, in a risible cover of Depeche Mode's 'Just Can't Get Enough', is just plain offensive.

The one with that gimp doing a plumbing course. Get someone who's really done it, or a reasonable actor. Not some clown who can't read an autocue and blatantly has no idea what he's talking about.
For no nonsense adverts i've never seen anything top the pizza advert i saw in Amsterdam. Me and my mates hadn't long got up and were watching tv in our apartment, on came this advert for New York Pizza, actually a great fast food place, Mafia Don-esque figure sitting at a table with a mound of flour on his desk, spoofing some movie scene shouting at a supplier. Then when there logo pops up at the end its joined by the sound bite 'New York Pizza, damned fucking tasty' at about 11am.