The Mental Health thread

[Elephant Pyjamas]

My wife thinks ive got ADHD as I forget a lot of things she asks, and I dont listen properly.
I asked my doctor if it was possible and she said it would have been diagnosed as a child. Can you develop it as an adult?

Depends on age too, I'm 43, no way things like autism, adhd etc were getting diagnosed in the 80s and 90s.

 

[lemonjelly]

A huge amount of neuro diverse diagnoses currently happening are adults. Many are parents who identify with symptoms of their children diagnosed in childhood. Many adults have been likely coping undiagnosed all their lives.

 

[Alan]

Depends on age too, I'm 43, no way things like autism, adhd etc were getting diagnosed in the 80s and 90s.

Okay Boomer

 

[Alan]

So, it is OCD. R-OCD (Relationship-OCD; obsessions, compulsions, and avoidances centered on social interactions and personal connections), I think, though we haven't identified the exact subtype. And severe.

It's... it's very liberating in some ways. But it kills me a little to know how different my life could be if OCD is what I had been tested for 16 years ago. I've ruined so many relationships and hurt a lot of people in that time. It's very difficult to at once accept that the feeling I've always had of being out of control is true, yet not allowing that to become an excuse for the things I've done, even if I didn't understand why I was doing them (and often screaming at myself mentally that I'm being destructive, but just totally unable to stop).

 

[leedswolf]

Depends on age too, I'm 43, no way things like autism, adhd etc were getting diagnosed in the 80s and 90s.

The late 80s was a watershed for the diagnosis of ADHD (formerly ADD) and autism.

 

[lemonjelly]

So, it is OCD. R-OCD (Relationship-OCD; obsessions, compulsions, and avoidances centered on social interactions and personal connections), I think, though we haven't identified the exact subtype. And severe.

It's... it's very liberating in some ways. But it kills me a little to know how different my life could be if OCD is what I had been tested for 16 years ago. I've ruined so many relationships and hurt a lot of people in that time. It's very difficult to at once accept that the feeling I've always had of being out of control is true, yet not allowing that to become an excuse for the things I've done, even if I didn't understand why I was doing them (and often screaming at myself mentally that I'm being destructive, but just totally unable to stop).

You can't be so harsh on your (former) self mate. At the time, you had no diagnosis or awareness of the cause. You were, at the time, making the best possible decisions based on the information available to you.
To re-judge your past sef, & those decisions based on this new information, is unreasonable, unfair on you, and risks compounding your current situation & strategies.

 

[Elephant Pyjamas]

The late 80s was a watershed for the diagnosis of ADHD (formerly ADD) and autism.

Not how I remember it in the classrooms.

 

[AndyWolves]

I remember going to school with a few people who, looking back, were clearly on the spectrum. One mate just could not sit still for any length of time, made really bad decisions and continued to in later life. He got tarnished as a trouble maker but was a really good guy if you knew him. Another was considered a poor student, in the bottom sets for everything but if you have him some stupidly hard mental arithmetic he could do it, like 143 x 67 he would reel it off without even thinking.

These spectrum kids were always there

 

[leedswolf]

Not how I remember it in the classrooms.

I never stated that you didn't. I was merely pointing out a timeline. My wife worked with children of various age groups, but particularly creche and nursery aged children back in the 80s and early 90s. I apologise for drawing on her experience.

 

[Elephant Pyjamas]

I never stated that you didn't. I was merely pointing out a timeline. My wife worked with children of various age groups, but particularly creche and nursery aged children back in the 80s and early 90s. I apologise for drawing on her experience.

And i was merely pointing out my anecdotal experience as a kid of the time, i wasnt saying you were wrong

I would imagine these sorts of things would take a while to filter through, but as Andy says during my childhood there were dozens of kids with issues, both looking back now and in the moment back then.

They would have been pigeon holed as neglected and/or disruptive and not helped. It was different though, very rare that there were teaching assistants in any classes, just the teacher. Where as now my kids have 1 or 2 TAs in their primary school classes.

 

[leedswolf]

And i was merely pointing out my anecdotal experience as a kid of the time, i wasnt saying you were wrong

I would imagine these sorts of things would take a while to filter through, but as Andy says during my childhood there were dozens of kids with issues, both looking back now and in the moment back then.

They would have been pigeon holed as neglected and/or disrupted and not helped. It was different though, very rare that there were teaching assistants in any classes, just the teacher. Where as now my kids have 1 or 2 TAs in their primary school classes.

SNAs were introduced into UK schools in the 1970s to coincide with legislation that deemed there was no such status as an uneducable child. I agree that there certainly was a prolonged timeframe before SNAs became 'mainstream'.

 

[Alan]

You can't be so harsh on your (former) self mate. At the time, you had no diagnosis or awareness of the cause. You were, at the time, making the best possible decisions based on the information available to you.
To re-judge your past sef, & those decisions based on this new information, is unreasonable, unfair on you, and risks compounding your current situation & strategies.

You're 100% correct, mate. I'll say this; regret is an improvement from carrying it all as deep seated shame.

For the moment there is the sense of wasted years (shout outs to Iron Maiden), but it won't derail me. Not now. Hopefully not ever again.

 

[Alan]

The late 80s was a watershed for the diagnosis of ADHD (formerly ADD) and autism.

Oh wow, somehow I had completely missed the changes for ADHD and ADD in the DSM-V; cheers for the unintentional teaching moment!