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The Laughter Cemetery

I hope no one takes offence at this one.
If it's a problem, I'll take it down.

dyslexic

Son: "Dad, we're learning about prisms at school. They're fascinating."
Dad: "That's good son, because as a dyslexic black boy, you're bound to end up in one."
 
I'm reaching out on behalf of a friend of mine who needs some help!

His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an erection.

When he came back, he handed her a bucket full of diet pills.

Anyway, he's looking for a place to live...
 
Scotlands new manager says he is ready for the 2014 world cup.

He has bought a new TV....
 
Sorry...

A proud father was showing a fellow worker a picture of his five grown sons. His friend asked what they did for a living. The father said the older two are doctors and the youngest two are lawyers. The friend asked about the middle son and the father said, "Oh, he's a plumber. Someone had to pay for all the others' educations."
 
A chicken walks into the library. It goes up to the circulation desk and says: "book, bok, bok, boook". The librarian hands the chicken a book. It tucks it under his wing and runs out. A while later, the chicken runs back in, throws the first book into the return bin and goes back to the librarian saying: "book, bok, bok, bok, boook". Again the librarian gives it a book, and the chicken runs out. The librarian shakes her head. Within a few minutes, the chicken is back, returns the book and starts all over again: "boook, book, bok bok boook". The librarian gives him yet a third book, but this time as the chicken is running out the door, she follows it. The chicken runs down the street, through the park and down to the riverbank. There, sitting on a lily pad is a big, green frog. The chicken holds up the book and shows it to the frog, saying: "Book, bok, bok, boook". The frog blinks, and croaks: "read-it, read-it, read-it".
 
Just found out that the chocolate pudding I brought from Tesco earlier is 100% mousse.
 
So Oscar Pistorius is on suicide watch... He might get the noose around his neck but how's he going to kick the chair?.
 
I don't see what all the fuss is about. Surely Pistorius can't be the first bloke to wake up on Valentines day and shoot into his girlfriends face thinking she was someone else?:confused-smiley-013
 
What's blue & full of Haribos? Kevin Webster's overalls


Weird crossover of fact & fiction to that joke
 
:icon_lol: I had a chuckle too as that one was so unlike Frank !!
 
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for Valentine's Day.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 175 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started...
 
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