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The Laughter Cemetery


Staff member
Nov 5, 2009
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Please for the sanity of everyone on this forum, stick your jokes here Frank.
I'll get you started:

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

Whats green and runs around your garden?

A hedge

whats pink and wrinkled and hangs out your underpants ?

Your mum
I'll get you started:

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

Whats green and runs around your garden?

A hedge

whats pink and wrinkled and hangs out your underpants ?

Your mum


Far too funny...
Why wasn't Jesus born in Wolverhampton?

They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
Two fellows are out fishing on the lake. A hearse and funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road. One of the fellows stands up and holds his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passes. His buddy comments, "Gee Harry, that was really nice and respectful." Harry replys, "It's the least I can do. Well after all, we were married for 40 years."
A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...

Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"
since this is the franks joke thread.....

"Give it to me!" she said, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!"

I didn't give her back the umbrella though.

Thieves are stealing telescopes off Blackpool front during the night and replacing them with kaleidoscopes.

Police say there may be a pattern developing.
Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet!

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower!

Why do dogs wag their tails?
"Because no one else will do it for them!"

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!
Such a great joke killed by adding in an extra 7.
The Curry Charts

35. Poppadum Preach - Madonna
34. Korma Chameleon - Culture Club
33. Bhaji Trousers - Madness
32. King Prawn Massala Drinks Are Free - Wham
31. Dansak Queen - Abba
30. Korma People - Pulp
29. Tikka Chance On Me - Abba
28. When I Phall in Love - Nat King Cole
27. You Can't Curry Love - Diana Ross and the Supremes
26. Korma Police - Radiohead
25. Things Can Only Get Bhuna - D:Ream
24. Tears On My Pilau - Kylie Minogue
23. It's Bhuna Hard Days Night - The Beatles
22. Brothers in Naans - Dire Straits
21. Girlfriend in a Korma - The Smiths
20. Pilau Talk - Doris Day
19. It's My Chapati and I Cry If I Want To - Dave Stewart/Barbara Gaskin
18. I'm a Bhaji Girl - Aqua
17. Sag Aloo - Black lace
16. Take That and Chapati - Take That
15. Bhuna Round The World and I Can't Find My Bhaji - Lisa Stansfield
14. I Don't Want To Dansak - Eddie Grant
13. Dansak on the Ceiling - Lionel Richie
12. We Are Jalfrezi - Sister Sledge
11. Vindaloo - Abba
10. I Don't Want to Go to Chutney - Elvis Costello
9. Rice Rice Baby - Vanilla Rice
8. Jalfrezi Jalfrezi Nights - Kiss
7. Tandoori Deliver - Adam and the Ants
6. Love me Tandoor - Elvis Presley
5. We Don't Have to Tikka Clothes Off - Jermaine Jackson
4. Bye Bye Balti - Bay City Rollers
3. Bhuna to be Wild - Steppenwolf
2. Livin' Dhal - Cliff Richard
1. Raita Here, Raita Now - Fatboy Slim
. King Prawn Massala Drinks Are Free - Wham
So, the blonde says to the gym instructor, "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He says, "How flexible are you?"
She replies, "I can't make Tuesdays"
If you're an American when you go into the bathroom, and an American when you come out, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Eur - o - pean.
The sad part is that Frank does actually think they are funny!
Stolen from Frank......

One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class...

Teacher : What kind of wife would you like Johnny?
Johnny : I would want a wife like the moon...
Teacher : Wow !! what a choice...do you want her to be beautiful and
calm like the moon?
Johnny : No, I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning...
There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."

The other cow replies, "Hell, I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."