The Mental Health thread

[Boozad]

You still feel fully in control in this sort of state though?

One part of anxiety i suffered badly from was derealization,although i went through all the motions of doing everything i would have normally done, none of it meant a thing to me.....attending gigs,football and socialising especially.
It was as if i was watching a film of myself do stuff and not being able to have control of it......it was the trippiest part of felling ill but i felt at ease with it (and just kinda numb) and sort of just went month by month with it and at least it wasnt the other side of anxiety that made me think i was gonna die every 10 minutes.

I don’t really get anxious about anything to be fair. I think a lot of it may be down to a highly stressful job and a home life that is challenging. I lost all of my me time a long time ago so now I guess I just go through the motions in a way. I do have one goal which is to set my daughters up for life (as much as possible) and I can see that starting to come to fruition so that’s what drives me on and it’s what I focus on.

 

[playtheace]

I don’t really get anxious about anything to be fair. I think a lot of it may be down to a highly stressful job and a home life that is challenging. I lost all of my me time a long time ago so now I guess I just go through the motions in a way. I do have one goal which is to set my daughters up for life (as much as possible) and I can see that starting to come to fruition so that’s what drives me on and it’s what I focus on.

Oh before i never got anxious either....My change in feelings just came from out of nowhere and after a trip to the doctors (who prescribed pills quicker than my dog eats his kibble) i still didnt know what was going on.
A third visit to the doctors and i was told it was stress (and i had nothing at all to be stressed about)
It all went downhill from there for about 3 years, stress that creates anxiety and that overwhelming mindfuck brings about depression until controlled.

 

[lemonjelly]

stress that creates anxiety and that overwhelming mindfuck brings about depression until controlled.

Yep. I think we are moving away from the notion that a tablet will fix everything. Difficulty now that I see with those I am working with, is the expectation of a sudden/immediate recovery. Working with people trying to get them to adapt their lifestyle and mindset is the challenge. Sadly many don't want to accept this.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I've had spells like this for 20 years or so now (albeit I wasn't formally diagnosed until my late 20s...but looking back now it's pretty obvious what the issue was, you just don't think about stuff like that when you're 16/17, and then I spent ages not wanting to go to the doctor). So I'm pretty much resigned to it, all I can do is make the bad times as palatable as they can be - and I don't sink into the mess that I used to, so that helps - and work through to recovering as quickly and sustainably as I can. It's going to happen, I know it is, there doesn't appear to be much I can do about it, so I've just got to deal with it.

I'm a little bit better this week anyway. It's not good, but it's better than it was. It limits me, it'll forever hold me back to an extent, but fuck it, what can I do? It's a health condition. People have to deal with far worse than I do, at least I'm physically ok (though I do have to remind myself to eat properly and stuff) so I should count myself lucky.

 

[Del Woppio]

Yeah I was given pills for anxiety sometime ago, but fucked them off after a couple of months, I really didn't get on with them. Unfortunately I haven't picked up on any treatment so do sometimes suffer quite badly with it at times. Getting out of bed when I haven't got the kids is borderline impossible to do sometimes, and it can take me forever to pluck up the courage to make a phone call, even though I'm pretty extrovert and confident. Basically in my stupid head, the worst possible outcome becomes an inevitability.

 

[playtheace]

Yep. I think we are moving away from the notion that a tablet will fix everything. Difficulty now that I see with those I am working with, is the expectation of a sudden/immediate recovery. Working with people trying to get them to adapt their lifestyle and mindset is the challenge. Sadly many don't want to accept this.

Yeah i actually meant to use the word understood and not controlled...but you are right.

Ive lent CBT books to people but have stressed (no pun intended) that they need to read the books, read them again and then read them and fully understand what they are teaching you and understand why your body and mind is making you feel this way.
If you will, use the teachings as a mantra until you re-train the mind into this being your first response when faced with certain feelings.

 

[playtheace]

Yeah I was given pills for anxiety sometime ago, but $#@!ed them off after a couple of months, I really didn't get on with them. Unfortunately I haven't picked up on any treatment so do sometimes suffer quite badly with it at times. Getting out of bed when I haven't got the kids is borderline impossible to do sometimes, and it can take me forever to pluck up the courage to make a phone call, even though I'm pretty extrovert and confident. Basically in my stupid head, the worst possible outcome becomes an inevitability.

I didnt even know what i had been given at first Del and wasnt even told they were anti depressants!
I binned them off after 2 days, after a very bad reaction after taking just 2 and the GP took them from me.
Had to stick on beta blockers for 6 months to control the heart rate though.
But as LJ said above, when initially desperate and offered pills ("ooh this will make me instantly better") people
will go for it but really need to be educated more.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

My previous useless, incompetent, lazy GP stuck me on Fluoxetine which really didn't help me out at all and so I swore off pills for years after that. It's only when I moved here and changed doctors (and gave myself a shake to go and see them and sort some shit out) that I got to speak to someone who was interested in what I was all about.

Been on Mirtazapine now for four and a half years. Don't expect to come off them any time soon. They don't really have any side effects other than a bit of water retention, I piled a load of weight on but that's mainly because I started eating properly for the first time in years. Got rid of most of it now as I really don't want to be approaching 40 in a few years and being a massive blob.

 

[lemonjelly]

Any form of medication will take 2-4 weeks to settle down. You're putting something into your body that impacts on perception, and it takes a while for you, the person to come to terms with that change.

Personally I feel medication can have positive effects in the short term, as part of a wider strategy.

Agree totally with playtheace. CBT is like the gym for the mind. You have to train and develop the skills and psychological muscles/techniques over a period of time. You wouldn't walk out the door qith no training and do an iron man. To manage life sometimes, we need to develop the skills and abilities and strengths within us.

 

[Jabbawolf]

I’m on the Mirt too - don’t feel any happier but sleeping a bit better. As a few people have said, I think I will only make real progress when I stop taking thoughts so seriously, and spend less time stuck in my head. Perfectionism is a bit of a twat, as nothing ever seems enough - realistically, I am blessed, but fail to appreciate it.

 

[Alan]

CBT saved my life, full stop. And helped me understand that I was responsible for saving myself rather than looking for some outside fix.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I’m on the Mirt too - don’t feel any happier but sleeping a bit better. As a few people have said, I think I will only make real progress when I stop taking thoughts so seriously, and spend less time stuck in my head. Perfectionism is a bit of a twat, as nothing ever seems enough - realistically, I am blessed, but fail to appreciate it.

They just help with equilibrium for me - so the bad times don't turn into a horrific spiral. Not about happy or sad (not sure I could quantify "happy" anyway! )

I've been trying really hard to build my confidence this year, there's been a small bit of progress. It all goes out of the window when I'm in a bad spell because that's just a state of self-preservation more than anything, but in general I'd say I have a bit more faith in myself now than I did at this point in 2016. I don't know how far it can go and it's still not anything like where it needs to be, but any forward movement is good.

 

[Trips]

Have had a really shitty night tonight. Not 100% sure what brought it on, but about 7isj I went really down. Had felt fine all day. hadn't felt like that for a few months. Stupidly about 9ish just reached for a beer and am now a few too many drinks deep. I know in the morning I will regret everything but have no inclination to curb what I'm doing presently. Fucking hate this feeling, my wife is such a supportive person

 

[lemonjelly]

I’m on the Mirt too - don’t feel any happier but sleeping a bit better.

See I think this is one misperception. Like depression isn't about being sad, medication isn't about feeling happy. It's more about managing the extremes.

As a few people have said, I think I will only make real progress when I stop taking thoughts so seriously, and spend less time stuck in my head. Perfectionism is a bit of a twat, as nothing ever seems enough - realistically, I am blessed, but fail to appreciate it.

Being a perfectionist is a huge issue I find. It's important to remember that only perfect beings are capable of perfection. If you're not a perfect being, then you're setting yourself an unacheivable aim, and that then has implications for self esteem, and it becomes a spiral.
There's a lot to be said for something being good enough, and when we get to that, accepting good enough can frequently be sufficient.

 

[AndyWolves]

How do you stop those nagging doubts that you've majorly fucked something up at work but no-one has found it yet.

I have this anxiety that hangs over me all the time and I can't shake it. It's always on my mind, i fix one issue and then the next one becomes the thing I fixate on.

Sometimes I'm ok but other times it follows me around wherever I am and I feel like I just can't escape it

 

[Del Woppio]

Yeah that's a big one for me too, especially after a day off. I've had it basically ruin holidays before.

 

[Boozad]

Everybody fucks up, everybody makes mistakes. That’s the sort of thing I worry about if and when it happens.

 

[AndyWolves]

Everybody $#@!s up, everybody makes mistakes. That’s the sort of thing I worry about if and when it happens.

The little things I can deal with easily. It's the big, major, millions of pounds impact stuff that gets me

 

[lemonjelly]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-42440623
#breakthestigma

 

[Dublin Drummer Wolf]

How do you stop those nagging doubts that you've majorly fucked something up at work but no-one has found it yet.

I have this anxiety that hangs over me all the time and I can't shake it. It's always on my mind, i fix one issue and then the next one becomes the thing I fixate on.

Sometimes I'm ok but other times it follows me around wherever I am and I feel like I just can't escape it

That's one of the reasons I stopped smoking weed. Every time I smoked I got extreme paranoia and it was always about work. When I worked shit jobs like hospitality etc, it didn't matter, I never took work home. Once I started working at Paddy Power and Google, my life improved because of work, and that meant I often stressed that I wasn't doing a good job. For the first year, I always felt I didn't belong, like I was going to be found out at any minute.

TBH, I still feel that way but the worst part is, I feel it now when I'm sober. Once I got promoted to Product Trainer, the responsibility was so intense, I often felt like I was a fraud. Even when things went well and people told me I was doing a good job, I always felt like I had got lucky and next time I would be found out.

It sounds crazy, I know. Recently I went to Lisbon for a month to help launch a new office. I worked until 10pm every night the week before I left, building a new curriculum for that office. I really focused while building it. Didn't have a beer, didn't watch tv, didn't listen to music, did loads of research etc.

When I returned, management were so happy with the curriculum I built, that they wanted to make it the Global standard, rolled out in all offices worldwide. Most people would be thrilled but my initial reaction was - "shit, it's not good enough. They haven't checked it properly, there's mistakes in it. We need to stop this happening"

I have a huge amount of self doubt when it comes to work. I am not sure why. Maybe I worked with assholes early in my career. Maybe I got bad advice. I never doubt myself when it comes to music or general knowledge, but work stuff just reduces to me an indecisive soft sod.