The All New Alan Partridge Thread

[Kenny]

"I've got a hat hard on"

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

At the time, I thought the second series of I'm Alan Partridge was some way short of the previous work, but looking back, there are so many fabulous moments.

"Who's Tom Donaldson"
"Ah, he's just a mate"

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

This is the world's most self-indulgent thread. But fuck it, it's mine, and it's Friday, and I'm ill (yes, I am still using that excuse, and look forward to that, a regular feature of the series), so I'm carrying on.

"The irony of your love of all things American, Michael, is that you work for British Petroleum. I mean, hello?"
"Hello?"

 

[Langers]

Cockney, Sonia, is an area of London where criminals live.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

The classic English gentleman abroad: It's David Niven. It's Stuart Grainger. It's Nigel Havers. The look - Imperial Leisure. Offset that look with those four summer reliables - hat, cravat, summer spectacles and, for that touch of class, the Alan Partridge blazer badge.

 

[Langers]

Another one I use that REALLY annoys the wife - if ever I ask what the speed limit is when she's driving us somewhere, I will be hilarious. Example:

Me: What's the speed limit on this road?
Wife: 40.
Me: Ah - your age.

It never fails to amuse me.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Another one I use that REALLY annoys the wife - if ever I ask what the speed limit is when she's driving us somewhere, I will be hilarious. Example:

Me: What's the speed limit on this road?
Wife: 40.
Me: Ah - your age.

It never fails to amuse me.

:icon_lol:

You know, it's probably a good job we never made friends with each other properly in Manchester, because the hilarity would have been too much.

You'd have had Kenco coming out of your nostrils, daily.

 

[Langers]

:icon_lol:

You know, it's probably a good job we never made friends with each other properly in Manchester, because the hilarity would have been too much.

You'd have had Kenco coming out of your nostrils, daily.

He nearly SOILED himself.

Yes, I'm quite convinced you would have been my BEST friend.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

He nearly SOILED himself.

Yes, I'm quite convinced you would have been my BEST friend.

Lynn, these are sex people!

Don't fast forward it! God, it's like some kind of hardcore Benny Hill.

 

[Langers]

Don't rub your fanny on me!

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I hate archers, The Archers and Jeffrey Archer. You're all deceitful cowards. Actually I've just realised that only applies to archers and Jeffrey Archer, not The Archers, who to be fair, are a mixed bunch.

 

[MARKakaJIM]

I have once used the 'dont rub your fanny on me' line to my girlfriend, it killed the moment, but her in a bad mood for ages but i pissed myself for hours.

 

[Paul]

The temperature inside this apple pie is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down!!!!

Classic intercourse

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Do you wanna get sucked in, Alan? Do you wanna get sucked in? Cause I'll suck you in so far you'll come out the other end. Is this the world you want, nightclub owners getting garrotted, ammonia in the boat? And take that look off your gormless face!

 

[MARKakaJIM]

Alan, I love you.

Thanks a lot.

 

[Langers]

Do you wanna get sucked in, Alan? Do you wanna get sucked in? Cause I'll suck you in so far you'll come out the other end. Is this the world you want, nightclub owners getting garrotted, ammonia in the boat? And take that look off your gormless face!

:icon_lol: I love Alan Ford in that episode.

 

[Paul]

“Is he gonna get any petrol? No he’s using the forecourt to turn around… he thinks he’s Rod Stewart!”

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

:icon_lol: I love Alan Ford in that episode.

Superb acting. The way he just turns halfway through the interview. "And what's that?"

"I tell you what that is, that's a couple of ponces mincing about talking rubbish."

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

“Is he gonna get any petrol? No he’s using the forecourt to turn around… he thinks he’s Rod Stewart!”

Thank you sir, another line I have used in real life. :icon_lol: