The All New Alan Partridge Thread

[Deutsch Wolf]

We lost the old one. Shame.

Anyway, this is the greatest monologue of all time.

‘I just want to be able to say “I'm Alan Partridge. Join me tonight when my guests will be, I don't know, Chris Rea”. Actually, he lives in the area. I could have had him over. “Alright Chris!”, “Hello Alan I didn't know you'd moved in”, “Yeah, just moved in, last week. I'm having a barbecue, fancy coming over?”, “I'd love to! Do you mind if I bring my guitar?”, “I'd rather you didn't, it's not that kind of area. Do you like Mini Kiev's?”, “I love them! But my wife's vegetarian”, “Doesn't matter. She can have fish”, “No she won't eat that either”, “Oh forget it!. You people”. Go on, Lynn. These people are starting to annoy me.’

 

[Langers]

Read the small print in your cone-tract.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

G-dee, g-dee, g-dee, yes! Oh - YES! Take that horse back to the stables, and give it a kiss.

 

[Langers]

Charlotte Fraser - do you want to talk about..... erm.... I dunno - women or something?

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

:icon_lol:

That is probably my favourite episode of all.

"Full steam ahead"

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

 

[Langers]

I'd love to get my hands on the bastard. Or bitch - it could be a lady.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I'm not homophobic, I'm more of a homosceptic. God created Adam and Eve, he didn't create Adam and Steve.

 

[Langers]

One small Baileys please.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I find silly amounts of amusement in using Partridgeisms in normal conversation.

Walking round the supermarket with Mrs DW, if she buys cherry tomatoes (I can't stand them) - "Never going to use them. Never going to use them".

She obviously finds me hilarious.

 

[Langers]

I am the same.

Normally by saying 'what a lovely sense of humour' quite a lot. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

I paraphrase sometimes, and say "There's a time and a place for fun and enjoyment, and it's not here".

Lovely stuff.

 

[MARKakaJIM]

The farmer rant stands out for me as one of the funniest things in Partridge, when he's supposed to be apologising live on air and ends up ranting something along the lines of...

When you see a family having a picnic in a field you plough them into the field, fill in the pond, blow up the tree and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother.


Also need to add, i know an Alan Partridge, i'm pretty sure he hates me as he seems to hate sharing the name but i have to remind him of it everytime i encounter him.

 

[Deutsch Wolf]

Also need to add, i know an Alan Partridge, i'm pretty sure he hates me as he seems to hate sharing the name but i have to remind him of it everytime i encounter him.

Make sure you shout "A-HA" at him every time you meet him. It'll be the highlight of his life and he'll never have heard it before.

 

[MARKakaJIM]

Thats what i did the first time i ever met him, i think he works with one of mates and i'd seen him on facebook but he has the pathetic cover of Al Partridge. That night everytime i went past him i shouted A-Ha as loud as i could, at first i got a few playful comments along the lines of 'fuck off' but after that he just tried his best to blank me out.

 

[Dublin Drummer Wolf]

" You're a mentalist!"

 

[pavlosmacwolf]

Sorry chaps, maybe it's the years spent in greece, but when i came back for two years, everyone was raving over Alan Partridge.

i watched loads cause i thought i had greek comedy disease, and i didn't find him funny due to excess fetta cheese or tatziki.

then i watched a Tommy Cooper, a Fawlty Towers, and a Blackadder on Dave, actually even a top gear, naughty i know. and i realised very quickly, that i wasn't suffering from anything, the guy is completely crap, and merely the best (worst) there was available at the time.

Just an personal opinion chaps, before you get upset.

 

[ROVERT47]

"I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said "how do I look?" Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say "go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny"? No. You'd say "You look nice... John""

 

[ROVERT47]

Especially for DW,

"Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan!!

 

[Templeton Peck]

I find silly amounts of amusement in using Partridgeisms in normal conversation.

Walking round the supermarket with Mrs DW, if she buys cherry tomatoes (I can't stand them) - "Never going to use them. Never going to use them".

She obviously finds me hilarious.

Thank god its not just me. The amount of times I've split Mrs Pecks sides approaching roundabouts with "I'm going nowhere Lyn, quite literally, I'm on the ring road".