The CHRISTMAS Thread

[James]

I went to Aldi this morning about 10am and while it was fairly busy, it was no worse than normal.

1 till on and a fight over those stupid carrott teddies?

 

[Parkins left foot]

Had to get petrol to get to where I am going at Christmas - so 10 am on Sunday when the shops open should be quiet as needed to get the last bits I need as well.

Was it - not really - had to park in the furthest reaches of Waitrose carpark & the clientele there walk around slower than in any other shop.

Aggravating, but have all I need now.

We even had traffic jams in the town today & this is Dorset - there not really allowed here.

 

[leedswolf]

M&S and Morrison's reasonably quiet as was the traffic in and around leeds this morning.

 

[Pablowolf]

Couldn't get near Sainsbury's Wolves today so went to Waitrose instead. Old folk love it there!

 

[Paul]

From Facebook


Pattersons butchers. Sheffield
21 December at 09:39 ·
Just in case anyone is stressing about Christmas Day..............!
Here's my top tip
Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!! We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...
1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shit load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking .
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell....
Bisto Jamie.... All you need is Bisto!
I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy
4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same .
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family....
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally.....
NO ONE.... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET PISSED AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over
Merry Christmas!

 

[sycophantia]

Thats brilliant Paul, exactly how we approach Christmas day....I'm nicking this for my fb page

 

[The Bear]

I've always been of the same opinion. It's just a Sunday dinner with a few extras like pigs in blankets. Really no big deal.


In fact we're not bothering with it all this year. Just having a big buffet style dinner.

 

[leedswolf]

Yep, just another Sunday dinner with a few bits added.

 

[Paddingtonwolf]

True. But I would never use Bisto on a Sunday dinner. Making a decent gravy is a piece of piss.

 

[sycophantia]

We do make a bit of a thing of Christmas dinner but there's is no stress involved and not that much work, as the lady says its just a Sunday dinner, the food is a piece of piss, its more about sitting around with family for me

 

[Deleted Cyber]

From Facebook


Pattersons butchers. Sheffield
21 December at 09:39 ·
Just in case anyone is stressing about Christmas Day..............!
Here's my top tip
Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!! We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...
1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shit load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking .
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell....
Bisto Jamie.... All you need is Bisto!
I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy
4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same .
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family....
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally.....
NO ONE.... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET PISSED AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over
Merry Christmas!

Exactly- very well said.

 

[James]

It’s a sunday dinner for myself as well which I rarely have so it’s a treat with all the trimmings. My mom goes a lil mad for Christmas

 

[Kenny]

Christmassy morning of doing the descaling procedure on the coffee machine and then jet washing my lawn. Ho fookin ho.

Might have a power nap next

 

[leedswolf]

Christmassy morning of doing the descaling procedure on the coffee machine and then jet washing my lawn. Ho fookin ho.

Might have a power nap next

How fucking middle class you've become... [emoji41]

 

[Kenny]

Living the dream...

 

[Tredman]

Christmassy morning of doing the descaling procedure on the coffee machine and then jet washing my lawn. Ho fookin ho.

Might have a power nap next

To be fair, that’s quite impressive if your coffee machine is as complicated to descale as mine.

 

[Kenny]

To be fair, that’s quite impressive if your coffee machine is as complicated to descale as mine.

Just a pain waiting around to empty the water from the jug as I cant fit a bowl big enough on the drinks tray and the process takes ages. Proper 1st world shit is this

 

[Parkins left foot]

Sacrilige as I am not doing turkey this year - a lovely bit of beef from the butchers (& from a farm out at Sherborne so very limited food miles - though it will get more when I transport it elsewhere tomorrow)

Could be quite late tomorrow being eaten seeing as how it needs to get 100 miles before it starts getting cooked. None of the meal is a big deal though whatever you are having - eat what you want rather than what D list celebrity's say you need.

 

[Dublin Drummer Wolf]

I only finished work yesterday, so Christmas started for me today with the very festive chore of cleaning the house and putting the washing on.

We took our new car to town this afternoon and filled it with wine and spirits and cheeses and snacks, and now I'm starting to get into the festive spirit

 

[PPB]

So glad I don't have to be a part of the cooking tomorrow. Cooking for 10, no thanks.

Turkey
Stuffing
Beef
Yorkshire Pud
Mash
roast tatas
Pigs in Blankets
Roast parsnips
Cauliflower cheese
Broccoli
Carrots
Sprouts
Peas
Homemade cranberry sauce
Ordinary gravy
Gluten free gravy

Thanks to hubby the timing will be perfect and so will the actual dinner.